Director: Amin Hajee
Author: Amin Hajee
Cinematography: Arun Prasad
Edited by: Ballu Saluja
Starring: Kunal Kapoor, Amyra Dastur
Streaming on: Amazon Prime Video
Whereas the world tuned in to look at the long-awaited Friends reunion, I attempted in useless to un-watch an unofficial Lagaan-and-friends reunion that no one wanted. Right here’s some context. Koi Jaane Na is directed by Amin Hajee, higher referred to as the character Bagha from Lagaan. The movie has a less-than-special look by Lagaan hero Aamir Khan, who opens the movie with a jazzy merchandise quantity with Elli AvrRam at a nightclub referred to as “Ego”. Previous the opening credit is a pleasant of Hajee and Khan with their households on display, celebrating their bond with the Kishore Kumar phrases “Tere Jaisa Yaar Kahan”. The ‘particular thanks’ part lists Lagaan co-writer Sanjay Dayma and director Ashutosh Gowariker. There are cameos by actors Aditya Lakhia (Kachra), and Raj Zutshi (Ismail) in probably the most Raj Zutshi position doable. It additionally has Chak De’s Vidya Malavade – additionally Dayma’s spouse – in addition to the director’s brother Karim Hajee taking part in pointless supporting characters. It’s minimize by Lagaan editor Ballu Saluja…you get the gist. That is primarily a sentimental quarter-bar session parading as a film.
And what a film it’s. Koi Jaane Na is the sort of deluded and fetishised “author” story that belongs proper up (down) there with notorious turkeys like Shabd. Poor Kunal Kapoor stars as Kabir Kapoor, an acclaimed writer whose evil writer (and ex-wife) calls for he return his INR 50 lakh (!) advance as a result of he’s means behind on his new manuscript. Chetan Bhagat has nothing on the chap. Kabir can be a motivational YouTube star: his first guide was titled “Do it…You may…” or one thing of the type. Broke Kabir escapes to his cosy Panchgani bungalow to complete his draft, however finally ends up punching a bag, burning paper, screaming and breaking pencils in an angsty writers-block anthem as a substitute. On the way in which he additionally meets an annoying backpacker, Suhana, who sings and dances in his jeep as a result of travelling in Hindi cinema can’t exist in any other case. They begin relationship, in a tune that appears like a musical commercial for an adventure-sport firm. He is also the chief visitor at a college the place he advises children to unleash their interior beast with a purpose to develop into profitable writers: “Don’t hearken to your good facet”. Oh, however there’s extra.
It’s quickly revealed that Kabir the truth is leads a double life. He’s been ghost-writing these steamy detective novels that includes a fictional vigilante-killer referred to as Zaraan Khan (“the one who breaks the regulation to uphold it”, it appears). Zaraan Khan is a best-selling franchise commissioned by some underworld gangsters (Khans additionally), and Kabir really method-writes: he’s a grasp of disguise, infiltrating the streets and drug cartels in order that he can “really feel” the darkness earlier than writing tales about it: the equal of me placing myself on a sinking ship in the midst of the ocean with a purpose to authentically evaluation Titanic. A Goan hustler named Ricky Rosario (Karim Hajee) uncovers his ghost-writing secret and threatens to show Kabir, solely to finish up stabbed within the eye by a hooded copy-cat killer. Who is that this killer? I don’t care, however the movie appears to. Different sideys die, a Maharashtrian cop (Ashwini Kalsekar) suspects that imaginative Kabir is the wrongdoer, a mortified Atul Kulkarni makes a red-herring cameo, and the plot turns right into a laughably poor imitation of a nasty Abbas-Mustan film.
I’m in fixed awe of the way in which veteran Bollywood writers understand book-writing. Typewriters, whiskey and useless our bodies jostle for house in virtually each body. It’s so divorced from actuality – and even from pulp-fiction for that matter – that it’s arduous to consider Hajee co-wrote Gowariker’s greatest movie, Swades. However then he’s additionally credited with the penning of the Vikram Bhatt oeuvre (1920, Harmful Ishhq, Haunted 3D) – and it’s not so arduous to consider anymore. I’ll cease losing your time, even when the movie wasted greater than 125 minutes of mine. Briefly, Koi Jaane Na is unspeakably terrible and pointless, and seems in Lagaan’s 20th anniversary 12 months: an irony so twisted that it may have been a greater premise for this film.